Libertinism can be a way to spice up one's sexuality, but it must not be experienced as something trivial. The advice of sex therapist Nathalie Giraud, founder of Piment Rose, to get you started without putting your couple at risk.
What is this desire?
In a couple, the desires evolve. It is possible that at some point, one of the partners will want to try libertinism. Whether to feel desired by someone else, to exceed its limits, or satisfy its curiosity, it is essential to identify his desires before embarking. For Nathalie Giraud, " put words on his desires to know what one is really looking for is a primordial step If, for example, you simply do not want your companion anymore, doing this kind of experience will not be of any use to you.
Also try to measure the consequences that this may have on your sexuality: if you agree to set foot in a libertine club only to please your partner, it can put you in a very uncomfortable situation, or even disgust you to have sex with him afterwards ... After Miss Kat, author of "Lovers Libertines" editions In Libro Veritas, there is a real media pressure around libertinage: " Today, we almost go for a has-been if we have never been to a libertine club. Yet this is not a trivial act "She has also crossed several women shaken by the experience, damaged because they had gone there only to please their companion ... You'll understand, the key is to want all of them two.
Before we start, we talk about it!
If the desire comes from you, it is better not to put your feet in the dish ... You risk closing your partner forever on this subject. Instead, look for a devious way to approach the issue, such as a film, blog, or article that deals with debauchery. "Throw a pebble into the water and see where the ricochets lead" suggests the sex therapist.
If it's a common desire, make sure you use the right words to avoid the risk of breaking your complicity. Your lover could be mistaken, think that it is not enough for you, and stare ... Same thing for you! Reassure each other about a real couple discussion to avoid hurtful misunderstandings.
We are preparing the evening for two
Clearly define the rules of the game To avoid catastrophe, ask yourself a maximum of questions: " Are we just going to watch? Do you agree if someone offers to sleep with her? Should we stay together constantly? "By talking about the different possibilities, you will set limits and that will allow you to pass the doors of the club with serene spirit.
Choose the evening according to your desires. Whether they take place in a sauna, a dancing club, or a dungeon space ... The codes and the uses are not the same! Learn about the different options available to you.
For a first outing, Nathalie Giraud still advises to privilege a special evening couples. " Some clubs also have a restaurant part, it is ideal to get acquainted with the world of libertinism and get to know other followers "However, beware of embarrassing encounters! As far as possible, choose a place that is quite far from your home ..."
And crisis situations?
According to our sex therapist Nathalie Giraud, the basic rule is: " If something goes wrong, tell it right away! "Just because you can feel betrayed, cheated or abandoned, and sometimes it takes a few minutes to make it huge, if one of them does not live well - which can happen even if there was discussion beforehand - he must warn his partner to protect his couple.
Thanks to the sex therapist Nathalie Giraud and Miss Kat, author and libertine, for their precious advice
To read : and if you did a role play to boost your libido? and all our tips to practice sodomy smoothly and painlessly!
Want to go deeper into the subject? Watch our video on libertinism with Cherry's tips: